Going it alone.

I could be wrong, but right now i feel as though im going to be without a romantic partner for the better part of my life.

Im no good with women when it comes to relationships. I get strong feelings of lust followed by strange feelings of a need for detachment from them.

I'm fairly unhappy most of the time when i'm alone. But when i get attention from people, i crave being "invisible". This isn't limited to women paying attention to me, but everyone, which is a problem, considering my occupation. If only i could receive positive attention from people, but keep my anonymity.

Sort of like a mysterious performer.

I must be selfish.

Isn't everyone selfish in someway though?

Maybe i have to devote myself to my crafts and arts (not arts and crafts) that i am so interested in. Music, magic, juggling, literature, photography, etc.

Because when alone, and doing something i love, i'm not unhappy at all. In fact, i'm usually more happy doing what i love alone, than doing what i love with someone.

Hmm, maybe thats not true.

Sometimes.......maybe.

But i guess what im trying to say is that i can be content with playing the drums, practicing magic, reading, writing, drinking, dining, rolling a sphere around my body, taking photographs, sounding bad on the piano, and sleeping in a bed, all alone.

At least for now.

Ugh, i sound damn annoying, but who reads this shit anyway.

Here, have a photo cyberspace...

Photo: Souper macro using a manual 55 with a glass ball held up against the lens, 5 second exposure, don't know the F but it was pretty small, set off external flash from off the camera twice in different locations. camera moved unintentionally, but it worked for what it is. Small amount of color and contrast adjustments in photoshop.

A friendly and patient moth.